fobrckxx's Journals on Buzznet http://fobrckxx.buzznet.com/user/journal/ en-us <![CDATA[Back In My Day...]]> http://fobrckxx.buzznet.com/user/journal/4062711/ So I'm offcially nineteen...to me thats old. To think I started on here merely sixteen years old.

I'm so nostalgic for the old days. Days I could write fanfics with Lisa. Exchange lyric writing with Sarah/Nixic/Elias. Talk about meaningful nonsence with Nikkie. Random conversations with girls like Rachel or Charli. I remember dreams of taking fuled by ramen by storm with Christine. Or seeing The Strange Thing Is peform. Amazing people like Amy and Kathy. Or two girls who I felt more close to then any of my friends...Tarah and Chloe. Or my twin Lauren..who knew me inside out. Or Livi...my smexy mushroom. Then there was Hannah..such an inspiration but she never knew. Or Jordan..so loving to me..but now gone. I cant believe I nearly forgot Jessi..the sweetest person.

 

 

And now..nothing.

 

and that just breaks my heart.

]]> Buzznet fobrckxx 2009-05-08T12:28:00Z <![CDATA[took a razor to my lips, letting everything i ever wanted to say....free]]> http://fobrckxx.buzznet.com/user/journal/3607131/ i'm trying so hard to care.

 

]]> Buzznet fobrckxx 2009-01-09T06:08:00Z <![CDATA[Raindrops]]> http://fobrckxx.buzznet.com/user/journal/3573221/

A broken glass is mixed with a forgotten nightmare

Pour it into a glass, add ice and we could call it a drink

Im barely holding on to words that I once knew so well

Lips in sync, waiting for the next line

 

When you said you didn’t know all the answers.

Why did the always end in sorry

 

The night began and ended in the lips of someone

Someone you barely knew

You said you know me better than I did

And I know myself pretty well

 

Because the raindrops are falling on my head

Tonight was meant to be the night

Where we become one

 

But instead I’m left in a pool of hate

With nothing but the familiar scent of liquor

To keep me warm

]]> Buzznet fobrckxx 2009-01-01T12:18:00Z <![CDATA[Have you ever...]]> http://fobrckxx.buzznet.com/user/journal/3513221/ Felt like you don't belong?

When I was younger I was overweight and not at all easy on the eye.

I was depressing, just a simple surface of nothing.

I had friends. But none I really could tell anything.

 

Then..I found music.

Starting writing.

Opened up to anyone, everyone.

Lost a LOT of weight.

 

Now.. I am who I want to be.

Even if I am still insecure.

 

The reason for this; be happy, I love you :]

]]> Buzznet fobrckxx 2008-12-17T03:45:00Z <![CDATA[Sheee's Back..My First Piece Of Work In Six Months.]]> http://fobrckxx.buzznet.com/user/journal/3513071/ Everyone’s screaming
Asking for the attention
But can you see me?.

Words are stuck at the back of my throat
Razor blades and the tongue ties of “I love you’s”
I’m sick of this wanting
Always wanting more

I walking across this crowded room with only your eyes to guide
I’m waiting
But its taking to long.
Worlds are taking a breathe as I find who I want to be
Searching for something more
‘Coz I’m never gunna be happy with normal.

Drama is causing a shallowness in my breathing
He told me seasons change, but I never will
That was until I left him in the dust of a happy ending.

Clouds cry tears of rain
I can’t see any signs of me slowing down
I’ll never be happy
I’ll never be happy until I’m with you

You left me with less than a moment
I spent the whole of my mind on making this come true
But never is ever going to be what I want

Don’t forget to take my breath]]> Buzznet fobrckxx 2008-12-17T02:28:00Z <![CDATA[My Most Proud Piece Of Work...]]> http://fobrckxx.buzznet.com/user/journal/3503781/ {This Was A Dream I Once Had}

 

 

He is my drug. I’m highly addicted and keep coming back for more. In the end. I’ll be totally dependant on him. I can’t stop taking every close moment or extra feeling. Wishing for more.

I’m shaking inside waiting for my next fix. She knows me to well. Stopping everything from letting me do it again. I love him but again what is love.?

I can’t stop this, it’s to far out of my control now. Everything has a consequence, and I have to much to lose.

Looking into his eyes. I’ve never been so alive. But inside I’m dead anyway.

Running my hands through my hair, I took a deep breath and woke up from my peaceful slumber. I have to forget him.

Grabbing the daily essentials and taking a shower. Nothing could clear matters up. I filled my days with mindless banter and things I couldn’t live without. Trying to forget everything that wasn’t them. Turning on the speakers I could hear the first few beats of a song.

“Lets follow through with this reckless dream that is tearing me up inside” I sang along. I hate how songs fit me so well.

It’s like they are secretly taunting me. Telling me what to do. I just don’t want to listen.

I’m afraid.

Thinking back to my dream, I smiled with relief it was so much easier then. I could re-call each moment, as if it really happened.

I was sitting on my own, as usual ever since she left me. Sipping whatever drink that was in this cup. I stared into the space in front of me. Waiting for someone to notice me. Well a certain someone. It wasn’t as if I knew no one. I just didn’t want anyone to talk to, I came here for them, because I was some sort of friend. That’s it. just a friend nothing more, nothing less. I got sick of being ignored I got up and left, with all these words written across the wall. How did they not know, it was obvious from the start.

Then it ended. It was like I was waiting for something more. Like that would ever happen.

I walked out the door, taking everything I needed. It was just another day, well not really I was going to a party with them. Dressed up, I might as well not of bothered. It’s hard to try when there’s nothing to start with. It gets me down. I try to not think about it to much.

We met. Made awkward conversation, well on my part. He’ll never know any different. I tried so hard to cover up everything with the smiles and mistakes of tomorrow.

I got drunk. Forgot everything that wasn’t him. I was quiet. Stuck in my thoughts.

I was asked. I was asked again

I exploded. Causing everything in my mind to come out my mouth. He knew.

Now he knows he is my everything.

I wanted it to end like it does in my favourite stories, him running up to her pushing her to stop and engulfing her in a soft kiss.

But I’m never going to be right. Everything is wrong. I’ve lost it all. Everything I was afraid of has happened. But I’ve never felt better at least I know he knows now.

No excuses.

 

Dreams only last for the night.

]]> Buzznet fobrckxx 2008-12-14T14:39:00Z <![CDATA[FRIENDS OF FOBRCKXX READ.....]]> http://fobrckxx.buzznet.com/user/journal/3362771/  

This bitch is back lovers. And I have missed you. More then you could believe.

Please get back intouch.

 

I beg of you.

 

x

]]> Buzznet fobrckxx 2008-11-12T11:18:00Z <![CDATA[Bolt Outta The Blue........&hearts;]]> http://fobrckxx.buzznet.com/user/journal/3362651/

{A work in progress}

 

I’ve had these feelings

I was young and ready to take on the world

Don’t you think more of me?

Have I become just another one of those forgotten faces

I hung on every word but in the end you became my rope

 

I’m screaming as you let go

If I had another chance, the courts would of gone in your favour

Its hard to say I’ve tried when I don’t care anymore

My dignity left me at a bus stop in Las Vegas

 

With no money and just a shadow by my side

I’m that lost little girl on the side of the milk carton

You so carelessly threw away

]]> Buzznet fobrckxx 2008-11-12T10:50:00Z <![CDATA[It's Better If We Break. This Is My LAST Goodbye.]]> http://fobrckxx.buzznet.com/user/journal/1513331/

 

Simple as that.

 

 

That’s it.

 

 

No more. I’m going.

&& I’m not coming back.

 

 

So long.

You properly won’t miss me when I’m gone

 

 

Ily....&hearts;

No matter what.

But its already over.

And we are just waiting for the tearful goodbye.

But don’t lie.

It’s never going to happen.

Remember for me though.

Love life and live it to the fullest.

I’ll be still watching you beautiful people grow.

But I won’t be hear anymore.

I’m not dead. & I don’t plan to be.

I just don’t know anymore.

x

 

 

Those who want to know &keep knowing me. Email me at the.girls.a.straight.up.hustler_x@hotmail.com.

 

 

 

 

 

 

peaace.........x

]]> Buzznet fobrckxx 2007-12-20T13:10:00Z <![CDATA[I Think We Have An Emergency....]]> http://fobrckxx.buzznet.com/user/journal/1429361/

My lips are stuck to words left unsaid

The walls are tumbling down and I’m breaking out

I’ve got a brand new skin, that’s just for fitting in

She said the words are lies and the looks can’t decide

My eyes wander to another place What ever happened to forever?

I ruined my thoughts and future in one fall swoop

The loneliness cuts deeper then a razorblade

I’m surround by the things who know me well

Sick of the hating, anticipating

For something that could never happen

I’ve fallen to the floor and broken a pretty face

Everything seems to blur but I can finally see straight.

 

I walked down the same street my heart has a thousand times before

 

 

 

 

So are you listening?

]]> Buzznet fobrckxx 2007-12-06T09:57:00Z